Page 1 Consider (02/01)

Footballers Wives, Etc.: You don't realize just how lame all this Alex Rodriguez-Madonna-Kate Hudson crap is until you see how juicy a real sports scandal can be, like how footballer John Terry, the very married Chelsea and national team captain, has been having a steamy affair with a teammate's girlfriend -- an underwear model, of course -- and ended up getting her pregnant. She got an abortion and he gave her 20,000 pounds to cheer her up. (News of the World)

The Fashion Designer/The Coke Whore: Note to Bravo: Where the hell were your cameras when this intervention was going on?!!! (NYDN)

Blanket Statement: DNA or not, it's pretty obvious these kids are related to Michael Jackson. How else can you explain their jumping at every opportunity to exploit their dead father for media attention? (MusicYahoo)

The Naked Truth: Newly minted U.S. senator Scott Brown has been on the wrong side of LGBT rights more times than I can count. But the fact that he is willing to listen to what military leadership has to say before dismissing the repeal of "don't ask, don't tell" is good enough for me to put another picture of his handsome mug -- and torso -- on my big gay blogs. (I know, I'm so easy.) (EDGE Boston) (He told Barbara Walters he wouldn't be where he is today if he hadn't stripped down back in the day.)

Madonna and Child: A lot of you bitches made fun of the recent untouched photos of Madonna and Jesus Luz that leaked out, saying she's old and his dong was unimpressive. Well, leave it to my pal David to make things right, in a risque kinda of way. (Pretty on the Outside)

Chef's Knife: I've always loved the taste of Domino's Pizza. (I my food very simple. The only problem I've ever had with the company is founder Tom Monaghan's anti-gay, anti-women politicking. But while I sort of get why their "mea culpa" campaign and new recipe is working so well -- unlike me, a lot people I know have criticized the pizza for years -- isn't the company really taking an underhanded shot at its customers -- you know, the billions of them who were stupid enough to keep eating it for decades and who helped make it the No. 1 pizza chain in the world? (I've tried the new-and-improved pizza and don't like it as much as the original.) (Time)

Just Jack: I'm pleased to see my old colleague and friend Jack Topchik -- who got out while the gettin' was good -- is enjoying his retirement down in Frederick, Md. (The News-Post)

All Jacked Up: Was my pal Jack E. Jett axed from his CNN radio show before it even started just for "jacking his cock"? (La Daily Musto)

Cruise Control: I missed last night's premiere of Rosie O'Donnell's HBO documentary, "A Family Is a Family Is a Family." Anyone catch it? (NYDN)

Mucho Musto: Lauren Holson catches up with Michael Musto of the Village Voice, who doesn't have a Twitter or Facebook account, but does still ride a bicycle around town. (NYT)