Page 1 Consider (10/13)

Dames for Dems: The Every Woman for Obama benefit in Los Angeles drew a slew of great chicks, including Rosanna Arquette (star of three of my all-time favorite movies, "Baby, It's You," "After Hours" and "Desperately Seeking Susan"), the hilarious Chelsea Handler (still waiting for your call, bitch), the wonderful Heart sisters, Ann and Nancy Wilson and the legendary Patti LaBella. (NME)

Crazy for You: A Fox News Channel program last week thrust Andy Martin, who is widely "credited" with starting a cyber-whisper smear campaign about Barack Obama, into the foreground. And what a big surprise it was to find out that Martin (who goes by various names) is "a law school graduate, but his admission to the Illinois bar was blocked in the 1970s after a psychiatric finding of 'moderately severe character defect manifested by well-documented ideation with a paranoid flavor and a grandiose character.'" (NYT)

Politics Aside: Well, no one ever accused Brady Quinn of being a brain. (WP)

Karma Chameleon: O.J. Simpson thinks he was "absolutely railroaded" by the Las Vegas jury that found him guilty of 12 charges, including armed robbery and kidnapping. Funny, because the families of Nicole Brown and Ron Goldman think their loved ones were "absolutely butchered" by you. (AP)

Humorless Midget Alert: It's no secret that "Saturday Night Live" isn't funny very often. But ya gotta admit Andy Samberg nailed his impersonation of Mark Wahlberg last week. So much so that it kind of (surprise) wasn't even funny: he just was Wahlberg. (Watch it HERE.) Naturally, the stiff former Funky Bunch leader is getting his Calvins all twisted in a knot. Talk about not funny. (Huffington Post) God knows this isn't the first time he's opened his mouth and ended up looking like a jackass. (Hey, Jackass. I like your fur."

Oops, She Did It Again: Britney Spears thinks she's a "smart person"? (AP)

Fun Couples: Leave it to the Andre Agassi Charitable Foundation to bring Mariah Carey and her boytoy together with Steffi Graf and hers, seen here at the group's 13th Annual Grand Slam for Children at the Wynn Las Vegas Hotel and Casino. (Story)

A Mighty Ego: Ya gotta love Ted Casablanca for telling it like it is, even when it concerns the holier-than-thou queen of all that is good, Angelina Jolie. (The Awful Truth)

Egyptian Goddess: While all the other babes of the '80s rock scene are getting major facial overhauls, Susanna Hoffs -- seen here rocking out with the Bangles Down Under -- just keeps getting better with age. (The Age)

I'm Not Lovin' It: The American Family Association is calling off a boycott of McDonald's after the fast-food giant agreed to end its support for the National Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce. (365Gay)

Hard Times: A family in the Bronx is having a hard time making ends meet, so the first causalities are kitties Keith and Precious. (Wouldn't giving up their daughter have been a bigger cost-savings, not to mention less heart-wrenching?) (NYP)