Page 1 Consider (04/08)

Their Lips Are Sealed: Well it looks like Gina Schock was finally able to talk the other Go-Go's into playing at Dinah Shore Week in Palm Springs, Calif. (Mr. Nightlife)

Spear the Rod: Nothing says Happy 17th Birthday like dinner at Ruby Tuesday's and then a shopping spree at Wal-Mart for your on-the-way illegitimate baby. Are these people trying to be caricatures of themselves? Oh, well. At least her sperm source is hot.(Dlisted)

Mollestation? If you're gonna accuse your father of raping you, my dear, the least you can do is spell it correctly. (AP)

Foundation Frame: Hillary Clinton's bowling skills may be a disgrace to the Midwest, but her stance on gay rights on Ellen DeGeneres' show was a solid spare, if not exactly a strike. (Towleroad)

The Beek Is Back: Jack McFarland would be so excited to hear about this. (Insider)

St. Rob's Fire: Note to the help: Do not try extorting money from Rob Lowe and his marginally attractive wife. He will sue your ass! (People)

Low Notes: Who knew Ashlee Simpson and Luciano Pavarotti had so much in common? (AP)

Oncology 101: I knew cancer was contagious. (AP)

Thomas Wolfe Redux: I somehow doubt Madonna is going to be heading back to her birthplace, Bay City, Mich., to pick up the key to the city. Does she even admit to being American anymore? (PITNB)