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Yarn-Headed Shooter: Rapper Remy Ma surrendered to police over the weekend after she allegedly shot a pal in the Meatpacking District during a spat over $2,000, law enforcement sources said. "Please don't let me die!" Makeda Barnes-Joseph screamed as she lay bleeding on the ground next to her car in the trendy neighborhood. Before she was taken off in an ambulance, she identified her attacker as Remy Ma -- best known as the former leading lady of rapper Fat Joe's Terror Squad, police sources said. Now my street cred may be negligible at best, but shouldn't Barnes-Joseph now be killed (the rest of the way) for snitching on Remy Ma? (NYDN)

Sorry 'Bout the Ass Rapes: A day after agreeing to a record $660 million settlement with 508 victims of sexual abuse by members of the clergy in the Archdiocese of Los Angeles, Cardinal Roger Mahony apologized to the victims for “this terrible sin and crime” and said he hoped the settlement would bring a "final resolution." (NYT)

Ass Backwards: The usually unflappable Roger Federer was so excited that he won his fifth straight Wimbledon title that he put his signature Nike pants on ... backwards. (OTB)

The Cost of Loving: If embezzling $400,000 from the accounts of investors to spend on a hustler is wrong then Gary Sparks doesn't wanna be right. (365Gay)

Love to Love Her, Baby: Following a post-birthday gig at Hiro in New York to promote her upcoming album, "Nobody's Daughter," Courtney Love took to the streets of Manhattan looking like a million-dollar blow-up doll. (People)

Shoe's on the Other Foot: Reverse discrimination in Massachusetts? (365Gay)

Like Father, Like Son: Kudos to Lindsay Lohan for finishing her 45-day rehab program. I'd sober up too if I got to spend some time with Lorenzo Lamas' hot son A.J. when I got out, too. (People)

Motor Mouth: A federal lawsuit challenging the issuing of a trademark to San Francisco's famed Dykes on Bikes has been thrown out. Michael McDermott went to the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Federal Circuit in Washington, which hears cases about copyright and trademarks, alleging that granting the group a trademark for the exclusive use of the phrase Dykes on Bikes was "disparaging to men and is scandalous and immoral." But in a 3-0 ruling the court said that as a man McDermott had no legal right to be offended (!). (365Source