Page 1 Consider (03/16)

Nothing but a Hair Hopper: Am I the only one who thinks it's sacrilegious for John Travolta to try to fill the shoes of the late, great Divine? First off, was nothing learned from the whole "Producers"-movie-turned-play-turned-movie-again fiasco? Second, there will always be just one Edna Turnblad is this world and you, John Travolta, are no Edna Turnblad. (And that he claims to need a "fat suit"!) (AP)

Don't Look Back: Boston lead singer Brad Delp left a series of chilling suicide notes around his house. Very sad stuff. (AP)

Not So NoTORIous: New mom Tori Spelling is making up with her icy mother, Candy? That's so un-Spelling of her -- Aaron would have never signed off on this plotline. (Playfuls)

Bandwagon of Hate: Leave it to a complete out-of-touch dickhead like Sam Brownback to come the defense of Marine Gen. Peter Pace's judgmental comments about gays just as the Pentagon's top general was backing away from them himself. (AP)

Measure of a 'Man': Clay Aiken's butch makeover makes headlines. (Queerty)

Plame It on the Rain: She has been silent nearly four years. Today, the CIA officer whose unmasking fueled a political uproar and criminal probe that reached into the White House is poised to finally tell her own story -- before Congress. I guess the Vanity Fair wasn't enough ... (WP)