Print Edition

With more newspapers dying each year, I thought I'd share four reasons why I'm still glad that I sit and read my stack papers every afternoon at Starbucks. (You can't beat it!)

1. It's not every day you get to see the words "(NECRO BUTCHER) SUCKS A FAT DICK!" in the venerable New York Times ...

B. I'd have never known about this Father of the Year candidate:

C. I got the thrill of seeing my pal Kevin Sessums in the lead item of Page Six. It's fabulous that his Jennifer Lopez piece is generating so much buzz for Tina Brown's new site (it was mentioned in The Times too), but will he ever eat lunch in this town again?

D. And lastly, the pure joy of seeing these two losers in action I liked it better when child stars went away and became drug addicts and porn stars. What do you say, girls???

Were they once the Olsen triplets? You be the judge ...