Tuesday, May 04, 2010

The Homecoming King

Was thrilled to meet Academy Award-winning “Milk” screenwriter Dustin Lance Black yesterday afternoon at the GLBT & Allies Network event at The New York Times. Lance was there for a screening of the short film he did as part of Live Out Loud's "Homecoming Project" that chronicled his return to his high school in conservative North Salinas, Calif., where he said he mainly tried to stay in the shadows to avoid abuse when his less-than-approving peers picked up on his sexuality.

Live Out Loud is a nonprofit organization designed to encourage out role models to return to their high schools to inspire today’s LGBT students. When the organization's founder/executive director, Leo Preziosi, Jr., first explained the group's purpose so succinctly it sort of left me saying, "Is that it? ..." But after watching the impact Lance's visit made on the entire school -- three different kids actually came out in front their peers in the middle of the gymnasium, one bringing Lance to tears -- I realized that just being present -- and out -- is more than enough to make a huge difference in the lives of LGBT youths. Interestingly, the two other examples Preziosi cited throughout his presentation were both people that have affected my life -- my good friend Frank Anthony Polito, the author and playwright who guest-blogs for me from time to time, and Neil Giuliano, the former president of GLAAD who was the four-term openly gay mayor of Tempe, Ariz., where I went to college.

Couldn't find the link to Lance's film (will update this if I do do). But to learn more about Live Out Loud, which also awards scholarships and has an LGBT speakers program, please click HERE.

With Dustin Lance Black, who told me he has my tie and likes my belt (maybe Tony the Stylist is on to something with those overpriced sneaks ...)

Ball and Chain

Everybody and their granddaughter was at last night's Costume Institute Gala at The Metropolitan Museum of Art -- seriously, Oprah Winfrey hosted and granddaughters of Elvis Presley and Ernest Hemingway were both in attendance. Yet for some strange reason, I was far more interested in the pretty women who brought pretty men to the event. Namely ...

Second Time Around: Jude Law and Sienna Miller

Fancy me a Dancy: Claire Danes and Hugh Dancy

No Love Lost: Gavin Rossdale and Gwen Stefani

Major Score: Tom Brady and Gisele Bundchen

Still Together: Jessica Biel and Justin Timberlake

iPad at My Pad

Those of you who find my anti-Apple rants to be tiresome will be happy to hear that my stylist friend has moved from sprucing up my wardrobe to trying to convince me that I'm completely off-base when it comes to Mac products. He's got a long way to go. But popping by with his just-out-of-the-box 3G iPad with kenneth in the (212) up and running on the screen was definitely a step in the right direction. Very cool!

Eddie McClintock: Major 'Delight!'

Didn't even realize Time Warner Cable had a monthly magazine until this handsome mug showed up in my mailbox this month. That's Eddie McClintock, star of Syfy's "Warehouse 13." He's so ridiculously handsome I might even be able to overlook the network's annoying new spelling.

The Faces Behind 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell'

NOTE TO READERS: As part of SLDN's Stories From the Frontlines: Letters to President Barack Obama campaign, each day about two-dozen bloggers -- including myself -- will be posting heartfelt letters to President Obama from members of our armed forces who want Washington -- and the world -- to know the importance of repealing "don't ask, don't tell." The campaign is already making waves, and was even mentioned on Ed O'Keefe's Federal Eye blog in The Washington Post.

Today's letter is from Former SSgt. Anthony Loverde:


May 4, 2010
President Barack H. Obama
The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue Northwest
Washington, DC 20500

Dear Mr. President,

They called me “vapor” --

As a little boy, I always had an interest in serving in the U.S. military. Both my grandfathers served in the Korean conflict, an uncle in Vietnam and I soon became the first of my generation to serve, followed by my brother and a few of my cousins.

After entering the Air Force in February of 2001, I eventually was promoted to Staff Sergeant. Although successful in my job as a Precision Measurement Equipment Laboratory (PMEL) technician, I was still coming to terms of being a gay man.

I struggled with my faith that told me it was a sin. I couldn‘t talk to the Chaplain Corps because I had read about gays being discharged after coming out to a chaplain. And so, I continued to internalize my struggle with accepting myself, my faith and how I must live under “don’t ask, don’t tell.”

As my separation date approached, many of my supervisors offered career-counseling. They all said the same thing: “Tony, you need to consider re-enlisting. You are the kind of Airman that the USAF needs to retain. You have a bright future in the Air Force and it would be a great loss to see you leave.”

They often times would ask why I wanted to leave, and I always replied: “I don‘t like wearing hats.”

Eventually, I changed my mind and was able to better manage living under DADT. I applied for cross training into C-130 Loadmaster and was accepted. I figured the high ops-tempo; frequent deployments and lack of down time would make for a great environment to keep me so busy that I just wouldn‘t have time to be gay.

I thought it was a brilliant plan.

As a distinguished graduate from Loadmaster training, I quickly established myself as a top-notch troop with the 37th Airlift Squadron at Ramstein Air Force Base in Germany. Within four months of my arrival, I had completed my upgrade training and was mission ready. I deployed to Ali Al Salem, Kuwait, in support of Operation Iraqi Freedom.

But deployment can take its toll. I couldn’t lie to my fellow troops -- my friends -- anymore. I delayed coming out as to not compromise our mission and waited until we returned to Germany. At first, I ended up avoiding them as much as possible.

They nicknamed me “vapor” -- as soon as we hit the ground, I would disappear.

I didn‘t avoid them because I didn‘t like them, I avoided them because I respected them enough to not have to lie and burden them with my secret.

When I arrived in Germany, I sent an email to my First Sergeant to tell him I wanted to speak with my commander about being gay and not wanting to abide by DADT any longer. My commander said I served honorably and they would be there to support me in my transition back to civilian life.

Each one of my past supervisors from the ranks of E7 to E9 wrote character reference letters that requested my retention. My commander and First Sergeant said my character, performance and honorable service was not at question…it was merely a legal matter.

Upon my discharge, I was hired by global contractor KBR to fill a technical position in Iraq and later in Bagram, Afghanistan. I was once again working with the same Airmen I had worked for on active duty, but this time openly gay. No one had a problem.

I continue to work side by side with members of our military – each of them knowing me as a gay man -- and it has caused no impact on the mission. My contracting job for the Department of Defense now is the same job I performed when I was in uniform.

Mr. President, we need you to help repeal this law -- this year -- so that my comrades continue to work in a force that retains the best and brightest based on performance rather than sexual orientation. Our men and women in the military deserve better. Listen to them, and, please, sir, do not turn your back on us.

Very Respectfully,

Former SSgt. Anthony Loverde
United States Air Force

Monday, May 03, 2010

Models Incorporated

Backstage at Marcelu Ferraz SS 10 with models like Alex Schultz, Erasmo Viana and others at the Minas Trend Preview fashion show was clearly the place to be ...