The Unreal Housewives of New York City

Just watched the return of "The Real Housewives of New York City." Wow, was that unpleasant.

As I've mentioned before, I kind of hit a wall with "The Real Housewives of Orange County." I wanted to like the Jersey one, but realized they were all just too boring to care about (the season finale notwithstanding). And I never got into Atlanta because it just got too confrontational from the get-go for me to even develop any relationship with any of the women. Still, I held out hope for Season 3 of New York because, well, New York is my lady, so I figured if I could get along with any of 'em it would be right here in my own backyard. But if the season premiere is any indication, this relationship too has also run its course. Right out of the gate everyone is screaming and getting in each other's faces -- something that is fine in the right context, but not as the basis of an entire show. Truth be told, I think the principal problem with most these reality series -- it certainly turned me against "The Hills" a few years ago -- is that everyone on the show becomes a "star" of sorts, so it's no longer about watching "real" people, yet the producers don't exactly own up to what's going on. So what you're left with is a bunch of Z-list ego maniacs with mini entourages walking around pretending they're living ordinary lives when in fact they are frequently getting treated like celebrities do, and the "issues" the women have with one another become about who got to guest host "The Today Show" or who leaked a story to Page Six, yet Bravo is still calling them "real housewives," two words that couldn't describe any of the cast members any less.

I will say this: as I've stated before, Ramona -- however unbalanced, rude and annoying as she may be -- was 100 percent right about Jill and her loving underdogs (she acts like she loves helping others, but it's actually all very calculated and done on her terms, without an ounce of altruism), and Bethenny is just now seeing how right she was. Now that Bethenny's not a "lost girl" can you see who Jill's new pet project is? Hint: She's UP HERE while Bethenny is down here. This is not something I am looking forward to watching.

Bethenny was never my favorite to begin with, and she definitely smacks of the type who drops all of her friends like a hot potato when she gets a boyfriend. That she speaks in that baby voice whenever he's around is not only completely nauseating, it's EXACTLY the kind of thing Bitter Boyfriendless Bethenny would be ripping on her fellow female for doing if it were the other way around. While I didn't exactly disagree with anything she said during her bar smackdown with Luann, somehow I still felt the countless countess came across as the more sincere one, which tells you something about how genuine I think Bethenny is.

The coming attractions look like more negative stupidity -- what is up with Bethenny screaming like a lunatic at one of the new women? -- but we'll see if my loyalties to the Big Apple can overcome what has become an increasingly unpleasant television experience.

(Drawing by Pretty on the Outside)