Everybody Loves a Hummer

In case you missed this, here is a hilarious deleted scene from the new film "Knocked Up." Let's hope the undeleted scenes are half as funny!

Seems Like Old Times

Hottie Newcastle striker Michael Owen says he's happy to have his former Real Madrid teammate David Beckham back on the England squad. The pair, who spent a season together at the Santiago Bernabeu before Owen transfered to Newcastle, will play together for the first time since last year's World Cup in Saturday's friendly against Brazil. Now if only Michael would become David's Kato Kaelin on the Beckhams' new Los Angeles reality show ... now that would be worth watching.

Washington, We Have a Problem

Republicans are abuzz with the hope that former actor/senator Fred Thompson will come to the rescue of the whimpering GOP, whose leading presidential candidates so far are a crackpot, former New England governor/male-model Mormon and a thrice-married, pro-choice / pro-gay-rights crossdressing New Yorker. But as good as Thompson sounds on paper, is Christian America really ready for a trophy wife in the White House? Thompson, who turns 65 in August, has three kids with his first wife, whom he divorced in 1985 after 26 years of marriage, and one with his current wife, Jeri Kehn, whom he started dating when she was in her late 20s. He's more than old enough to be her father -- and finally married in 2002 when she was 35. (NYP)

Lucas Kerr Wallpaper

Designed by my friend Greg Jelinek, the first in an eight-part series. Hubba-hubba!

Page 1 Consider (05/31)

Frosty Patron: A Wendy's manager was shot in the arm for refusing to give a customer 10 packets of hot sauce for his chili, claiming it violated the store's strictly enforced sauce policy. I had a similar incident with my Chicken McNuggets at the McDonald's on 50th and Broadway. If I'd only had a gun that sweet and sour would have been so much sweeter and sourer ... (NBC)

Lancelot: Wait. David Hyde Pierce was in the closet? (AE)

Hack Attack: A man with a form of tuberculosis so dangerous he is under the first U.S. government-ordered quarantine since 1963 had health officials around the world scrambling Wednesday to find passengers who sat near him on two trans-Atlantic flights. Is this why I can't stop coughing? (AP)

Hairy Situation: Debra Opri, the onetime lawyer for Anna Nicole Smith's baby-daddy, Larry Birkhead, is suing him claiming he didn't pay his legal bills during the paternity dispute involving the child. She also wants to be reimbursed for frosting his hair. (AP)

Faithless: Pop tart George Michael: Once a mess, always a mess? (AP)

St. Tropez Bound: Do you know where to draw the tan line? (NYT)

A Number of Years of Solititude: Nobel Prize-winning Colombian novelist Gabriel Garcia Marquez returned Wednesday for the first time in a quarter century to his birthplace and inspiration for the fictional town Macondo, immortalized in his masterpiece "One Hundred Years of Solitude." (AP)

Daddy-O: Train wreck Lindsay Lohan's class-act dad says his famous daughter is addicted to OxyContin. Of course she is. (AP)

No Laughing Matter: The Laugh Factory has finally made an honest woman out of Jon Lovitz. (AP)

Infinite Wisdom? Do you think Steve Stanton -- soon to be Susan Ashley Stanton -- didn't get the job as city manager of Tampa because she told her prospective employers during the interview that having a transsexual city manager would not be problematic or disruptive for the staff. How does she know? (Source)

Thursday Ad Watch

This week's eye-catching advertisements.

Brad (and Kenny)'s Hair Ups and Downs!

As I flipped through this photo essay about Brad Pitt's ever-changing hairdos yesterday in the new Us Weekly, I couldn't help but think: Wow, he sure has changed his look a lot over the years. And I've had the same exact haircut since I was about 4. Then I thought about it a second longer and I remembered, well, except for that bleached-blond omelet I had back in '87. Oh, and the razor cut in '97. And the embarrassing and totally didn't work on me long hair I had last summer (you can see where this is going) ... I'm putting it all out there, so why don't you e-mail me your biggest hair don'ts and I will post them next week. :-)

(Click any photo to enlarge. Laughs are guaranteed.)

Take Me Out

Michael and I had a fun time last night at Shea Stadium, although the Mets couldn't buy a run to save their lives, losing 3-0 to the San Francisco Giants. It was fun seeing Barry Zito, even if the crowd still holds a grudge against him for not joining New York -- and even more fun hearing the crowd lay into Barry Bonds every time he ... well, pretty much every time he did anything.

Last-Minute Reminder

This evening at 7 p.m. there will be a reading from the new book "GIRLS WHO LIKE BOYS WHO LIKE BOYS: True Tales of Love, Lust, and Friendship Between Straight Women and Gay Men" at Barnes and Noble Chelsea, 675 Sixth Ave. The book's editors, Tom Dolby and Melissa de la Cruz, will be there, as well as five of the writers who contributed to this offbeat anthology -- Andrew Solomon, Simon Doonan, Zach Udko, Elizabeth Spiers and Karen Robinovitz.

A portion of the proceeds are benefiting The Trevor Project, the nationwide suicide prevention helpline for gay and questioning teens.

Today, Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Barnes and Noble, Chelsea

675 Sixth Ave.

212.727.1675

7 p.m.

Reading

Tom Brady Does Details

I see Patriots QB Tom Brady is on the cover of the new Details. I thought subscribing to the magazine would give me early access to this monthly, but I've come to realize I get mine about nine years after I see it on the stands. For now, I'll share these photos from their Web site ... perhaps more will follow in late August. I'm curious to see if he addresses his rumored "Irish twins" x 2 with Bridget and Gisele.

Related:

Tom Brady: Armed and Dangerous

Tall Drink of Water

Day Job

Sweet Smell of Success

Daddy, Complex

Tom Brady, MVP

Major Tom

Practice Makes Perfect

Tom Brady, SWM/QB

Sunday Worship: Tom Brady

Patriot Games

French Toast

Marat Safin tried every trick in the Nadia Comaneci Handbook and still came up a straight sets loser to Janko Tipsarevic, 6-4, 6-4, 7-5. French favorite Richard Gasquet also lost in straights, to Belgian Kristof Vliegen, 7-6 (7-4), 6-3, 6-1. And Robby Ginepri, the one remaining American in the men's draw, put up a valiant fight before going down in five to Argentine Diego Hartfield, 6-4, 1-6, 5-7, 6-4, 6-2. No major upsets in the women's draw, although 2004 champion Anastasia Myskina's 6-1, 6-0 loss to Gainey Ranch 2001 ladies' club champion American Meghann Shaughnessy in the first round has to be one of the saddest results in the open era.

Stray-Rod

Yankees third baseman Alex Rodriguez sure has some explaining to do to his wife, Cynthia (you remember her, the mother of their 2 1/2-year-old daughter, Natasha). And when did Lizzie Grubman start using steroids? I wonder if Bud Selig is going to weigh in on this one ... (NYP)

French Postcards

These sexy photos of Malik are courtesy of my blogging pals Steph & Alek over at OhLaLaParis. The boys produced this photo shoot for DNA magazine with the photographer Fred Goudon. The results speak for themselves ... ooh la la!

Page 1 Consider (05/30)

The Wright Stuff: Coca-Cola bought Vitamin Water for a cool $4.1 billion over the weekend, and Mets slugger David Wright stands to pocket $20 million. Why, you ask? In lieu of payment for his ad campaign, the sexy third baseman accepted a 0.5 percent interest in the company last year. (Smarter than he looks, huh?) Wright was quoted as saying he is "extremely pleased" with the deal. (Who could blame him?) Michael and I will be seeing Davey in the flesh tonight as the Mets take on the Giants at Shea Stadium, with hottie Barry Zito pitching -- and Barry Bonds looking to make "history." (NYP)

Divided Apple: A new poll shows New Yorkers are nearly evenly split on the topic of gay marriage, with a majority of Democrats, voters under 55 years old and Jewish voters support gay marriage the poll shows. (Don't all Jewish mothers want their children married to someone?) (Source)

Love, American Style: Meanwhile, a new Gallup poll shows American acceptance of gay rights is at its highest level in 30 years: 59% of Americans believe that "homosexual relations between consenting adults" should be legal. This question, which is part of the Gallup Poll’s annual Values and Beliefs survey carried out each May, has been asked every year since 1977, when only 43 percent responded affirmatively. (I'm surprised it was that high then given the fact that Texas' sodomy laws were only shot down in recent years.) (Advocate)

What Can He Do for Browns? Checking in with quarterback Brady Quinn after his first day of training camp with the Cleveland Browns. (AOL)

Memorial May: The American military said that 10 American soldiers had died Monday in separate attacks, making May the deadliest month for American troops since November 2004. (NYT)

Statewide Embarrassment: I thought Arizona's impeached, racist car dealer, Evan Meacham, was the most embarrassing governor in American history until I read about Nevada's latest, Jim Gibbons. In recent months, Gibbons -- already the subject of an FBI probe into whether he failed to report gifts from a military contractor while serving in Congress -- announced a plan to turn coal into jet fuel to raise money (problematic, as Nevada has no coal to speak of) and proposed paying for a $3.8 billion shortfall in highway construction money by selling water rights under state highways (it turns out the state did not actually own the rights). He told a local editorial board he could not pronounce the name of his energy adviser because she was “Indian” -- she is Turkish. He muddled through a bruising primary and general election, the latter overshadowed by an altercation with a cocktail waitress in a Las Vegas parking lot (his version: he was trying to help her into her car. her version: he sexually assaulted her). Wait till you read about his wife. (NYT)

Homeless Lesbian: A woman who sought housing at a Chicago homeless shelter but was turned away because she is a lesbian is filing a complaint over the matter. Michelle Wang, 27, came to the Chicago from Indianapolis last year with her partner, but their relationship ended, leaving her without a home, according to the American Civil Liberties Union of Illinois, which is handling her case. (Advocate)

Near Cat-astrophe: An Israeli man clad only in underwear and a T-shirt wrestled a leopard to the ground and pinned it for 20 minutes after it entered his bedroom in a desert college and tried to make a meal of his pet cat. Both animals survived. (AP)

Digging 'Diggers'

Watched the director Katherine Dieckmann's new film, "Diggers," with Michael over the weekend. It stars cutie Paul Rudd and Maura Tierney as a working-class brother-sister coping with the death of their clam digger father on the South Shore of Long Island circa 1976. The "realizing you're really an adult once your parents die" theme isn't groundbreaking, but the smart script and outstanding performances -- particularly by Tierney and the hilarious Ken Marino (the former "State" star who also wrote and co-produced the film) as the siblings' hyperfertile friend Lozo -- make the film worth seeing. (It was fun seeing Lauren Ambrose in a small part that is decidedly not Claire Fisher, although her inner art student rises to the surface in the end!) One question though: what happened to the Strong Long Island accents, guys? Buy "Diggers" on DVD here.

Footnote: "Diggers" received a limited theatrical release on April 27, 2007, and also premiered on HDNet on the same day, and the DVD came out days later, on May 1. It's an interesting strategy for a "little movie" given the expense of marketing and getting a film distributed in wide release. I wonder if we'll see more "simultaneous releasing" options as the digital age continues.

How Embarrassing

And now it's off to rehab (again) for Lindsay Lohan. I certainly hope this doesn't get in the way of their being a "Herbie Fully Loaded 2" -- she's such a gifted actress. People keep saying it's just inevitable that she end up like this because she's been famous since she was a young child. But I don't buy into that crap. Hilary Duff was twice as big a star before her and doesn't act like this. Alyssa Milano was a star since she was a child and never had any of these problems. This is a reflection of her, not society. (NYP)

An American (Massacre) in Paris

It didn't take long for 2007 to become the worst American performance at the French Open in at least 30 years. Eight of the nine Americans entered lost in the first round -- including our top players, James Blake and Andy Roddick. And the win-challenged Robby Ginepri is the only remaining American left in the draw -- mainly because his match was suspended. Another person whose match was suspended is Carlos Moya, whom I'd marry to give him U.S. citizenship any old time.

Page 1 Consider (05/29)

The Final Straw: Even if she's not really authorized to do it, who better than Kathy Griffin to act as Rosie O'Donnell's spokeswoman? Griffin says O'Donnell told her that she quit "The View" early because the director used a split screen during her now-infamous final dispute with Elizabeth Hasselbeck. It was then that she "knew it was over." She said the split-screen made "The View" look like "The Jerry Springer Show" (although wouldn't that be a step up?). (AA)

Generation Gap: It's the end of the world as we know it: The New York Times ran a story with the word badonkadonk in it on Sunday. On the upside, the "St. Elmo's Fire generation" has been officially christened. (NYT)

Hollywood Nights: I love how the news stories about Lindsay Lohan's car crash and arrest include firsthand accounts from people who just happened to be two inches away, and by people I mean paparazzi: "I quickly got out of my car and said, 'Lindsay, are you OK?' And she didn't really respond, she was moving fast," said X17 photographer Perry Farinola. Farinola then saw Lohan get into another car. Too bad she didn't hit and run. (ABC)

Did He Get Fired From D&D? Somebody call Allison, quick. Andrew Shue is back with a new film about soccer, "Grace," that's based on his own family's tragic loss. (AP)

PSA: "Grey's Anatomy" star Isaiah Washington, making amends for his use of an anti-gay slur, cautions in a public service announcement that "words have power" to hurt or heal: "I hope viewers will take a moment to reflect on the power of words, particularly when it comes to the lives of young people and their experience at school. Words have power. The power to express love, happiness and joy. They also have the power to heal," Washington says in the message. "When you use words that demean a person because of their sexual orientation, race or gender, you send a message of hate. ... We have the power to heal and change the world by the words we use." (AP)

Love Is Blind, Now: Young Linda Riss broke up with her older, married lover, Burt Pugach, when he wouldn't follow through on his promise to divorce his wife. He responded by stalking her and hiring thugs to throw lye in her face, leaving her disfigured and blind. After spending 14 years in the slammer for this henous assault he got out of jail and they've been married for the 33 years since. Sounds like love to me. "Crazy Love" sounds like the movie of the year to me. (NYT)/li>