Top Design

Even though I hate it when people lecture me about what I should and shouldn't be writing about on my blog, there's still this small part of me that feels like I'm letting everyone down by not being into any of the competitive reality shows. "Survivor," "American Idol," "The Amazing Race," "America's Next Top Model" and -- most of all -- "Project Runway" are some of the most talked about subjects in the blogosphere, and I've never watched any of them. Sure, I've known about a cute contestant on one, or heard about a tranny on another, but never once has one of these shows been one of my own. Don't get me wrong -- I'm no reality TV snob. I just don't get into the competition of it all. I love the "drama" reality shows -- you know, "The Hills," "Laguna Beach," "The Real Housewives of Orange Country" etc., where people live their "real" lives (only it's completely scripted and rehearsed).

So after getting a call from my younger sister in Phoenix telling me all about "Top Design" -- which, by the way, "isn't nearly as good as HGTV's 'Design Star'" -- I happened upon back-to-back episodes of the much-hyped new show on Bravo (like that was hard to do!).

I can't say I'm "hooked," but maybe if some of you guys are into it too then I will feel more obligated to keep up.

First off -- what the f**k happened to Todd Oldham? He just looks like a complete freak. It's bad enough listening to him e-nun-ci-ate ev-er-y word to the point that you want to punch him, but now merely looking at him is a major distraction. He should be commenting on people's designs -- not hosting. He's totally wasted on this show, circus-freak aspect aside. And don't even get me started on guys over 30 wearing Converse high tops with suits. Next, who is that lead judge Jonathan Adler??? I realize this is interior design, but that lisp just makes me wanna crawl into a hole. And so far the first two special guests have been ridiculous. Alexis Arquette gives trannies a bad name (read: she's no fun) ... and Liz Lange's Gumby smile scared me.

I totally didn't agree with the "Chinese restaurant" being eliminated from the first episode. And I felt like they were pretty unfair to nix the testosterone-injected guy in the second one. Several of the other designs were just as bad or worse.

I don't know -- am I getting the hang of this? We shall see ....

UPDATE: My friend Anita ran into the fun Gaysian designer Goil at Larry Lawrence in Williamsburg recently, where the show was being watched in lieu of sports. Read all about it here.